i have just beasted my paper on Women in Islam--no need for applause, really.
i have been living off of pasta and grilled cheese sandwiches for, ooh, i'd say three months. donations to help the poor (aka moi) will be accepted and can be sent to:
The Girl Who Lives in the Box
The Corner of 16th and Cumberland
Knoxville, TN 37916
i decided to attempt "no-shave november" this year.
i have accomplished it.
surprisingly, it's not so bad. except for the fact that it is socially unacceptable to wear a dress with 1/2" long leg hair to class...the good news: i've saved a lot of money on razors (you thought i was going to say car insurance, didn't you?)
unfortunately, now i am so impressed/disgusted with myself, that i still have not shaven for the sole reason that i want to show my mom when i get home thursday.
fortunately, my hair has not been prickly since probably november 10th, now i'm just fuzzy and that takes me back to my good old hairy childhood...
i have my women's history final tomorrow and then i am peacin' out of knoxvegas. 8 hr drive here i come.
special thanks goes out to the Spice Girls and Girl Talk for making this finals week that much more bearable.
zachie comes home january 5th and i plan to monopolize every minute of his visit. it's subway and wonder pets all day, every day, zach. get pumped.
pusshej,
a rather content jules
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
These Kids Are Bombarded
What happens is this: i read an article online and i get upset (because of the topic).
then...i read the comments left on the article by various readers--and this is where i get fired up.
i get angry at the ignorant things people say.
most recently, i have read this article "Sexting-Related Bullying Cited in Hillsborough Teen's Suicide."
(http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/sexting-related-bullying-cited-in-hillsborough-teens-suicide/1054895)
i suggest that you read the article, but to give you the sparknotes version, a 13 year old girl named Hope sends a boy she likes a picture of herself topless.
the picture gets sent all over her middle school and even the high school.
Hope is bullied, ridiculed, and tormented at school by her peers.
she is called a whore and a slut.
she starts cutting.
school officials find out at the end of the school year and decide to suspend her for the first week of the following school year.
she is also not allowed to run for the leadership position she has held in her school's FFA organization (in which she has excelled).
nothing is done to the students who were responsible for the mass spreading of the pictures.
Hope meets with the school counselor very often and the counselor has her sign a faux contract--a "no-harm contract"--that says she will never cause harm to herself, she will always go to someone for help.
Hope's parents are not notified of this.
Hope hangs herself in her room.
now, i don't think that any one person is at fault for this tragedy. i think it is a combination of things, and you are more than welcome to disagree. however, most of the comments on the article were very hard to read for me. almost every one wanted to point the finger of blame at a specific person. "it's her parents" "no, it's the counselor" "it's public schools" "no, it's the government"...etc
i do believe that Hope's parents should have been notified of her situation. i also believe that there could have been something done about the constant bullying. according to the article, Hope's friends would have to surround her and escort her through the halls, all the while others called her names.
i do struggle with the schools actions in the situation as well. by punishing Hope, and, therefore, giving the situation school-wide attention, she was only moreso victimized. being suspended (more than 3 months after the actual incident) and not being able to run for her position in the FFA were all punishments, and punishing a victim is like saying "you deserve what is happening to you." and what happened to the bullies? i think you can answer that one...
however, i have to defend a few points.
in many of the comments people were saying "she's a kid, and kids make mistakes". this should not offend me, but it does. i think it is a common misconception that "kids" make mistakes. unless i'm living in a different world from everyone else, i have observed that EVERYone makes mistakes. regardless of age. and that is okay. mistakes are necessary. we need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. a person's mistakes and what they take from those experiences are what make them them!
also, many people blamed the public school system, and trashed public schools in general. now, i'm biased because i went to a public school, but, i am so so so grateful that i went to a public school. i'm not saying that public schools are perfect, but what school is? in fact, of the private schools i know of, they are just as "bad", if not worse, than the public schools i know. just as much drug use, alcohol use, teenage pregnancy, bullying, etc.
the type of school rarely determines the quality of students in social settings. there are mean kids wherever you go. there are kids that will put down other kids in every school across the country. i know this to be true, because i've learned that it is NOT just a middle school or high school thing. there are mean people, and there are bullies, that are fully grown adults--out in the world, tearing people down. it is what we teach our kids and what SOCIETY teaches as acceptable and unacceptable that determines what type of person you will be.
all i'm saying is: private doesn't mean better.
another common thread in the comments was that Hope's parents should have monitored her better; that all parents should monitor their child's every move. put blocks on their internet access, only allow them a phone without a camera, etc.
whereas i see the thought process behind this, this is not the answer. yes, you should always know where your child is going, and who with, and for how long (or roughly), but you cannot monitor them all day, every day. it's just not possible. and if you were to, you would be showing that you have no trust in your child to make the right decisions. and is this not just a way of saying you're (the parent) not completely confident that you have taught them well?
let's say you do, however. you've found a way to completely monitor your child--cellphone minutes counted, texts read, internet locks...what happens when they leave the house? i'll tell you, they're bombarded. bombarded with tv commercials, magazines, billboards, movies, SOCIETY. all of which are sending them mixed messages. ads showing what "beautiful" women are supposed to look like, magazines that tell you "100 ways to turn your man on" or "how to GET a man"..., movies that display raunchy sex scenes--in a good light.
however, this is NOT reality. in our sex-obsessed society young girls and women are trapped between a rock and hard place.
being too sexual makes you a "whore"--BUT--being too reserved makes you a "prude." and BOTH are negatives. we can't win.
we're taught it's "unladylike" to sit with your legs open, to dress "slutty", to sleep around.
but on the other hand, we're taught that you have to primp yourself up, SEX yourself up, to get a man.
(disclaimer: i am NOT saying this is true for all men...but most)
now, on the contrary, men have their cake aaaand eat it too.
men are taught that the more women you get, the more "manly" you are. you're praised for scoring well with the ladies...
some women may consider these guys "sluts" but other than that, most will praise them for being a "player"...
several comments from females spoke of how appalled they were that a girl would send such pictures. they said she should have more respect for herself.
well, to this i say, it's easier said than done.
for women--of all ages--respecting yourself is one of the hardest things to do. i'm not sure if i know one woman who is completely comfortable with her body--which is a BIG part of respecting yourself, because if you don't find yourself beautiful, you are apt to do things that make you feel beautiful even if it's only for a little while. and i'm not saying that is what Hope did, but perhaps getting attention from a boy made her feel beautiful, i'm not sure, it's just a thought.
so for those who think it was shameful of her, think before you give out advice. like i said, it's hard for women of all ages to respect themselves, and i would imagine it would be even more difficult for a girl of 13 who hasn't fully grown into herself physically or psychologically. after all, at that age, you're still becoming you...
when will we learn that we're sending mixed signals to our girls--and practically from birth!
be thin/ be curvy
big butts are sexy/ "look at her fat ass"
have sex... but not too much
stop gendering. it's only ruining everything.
pusshej,
a rather dismayed jules
then...i read the comments left on the article by various readers--and this is where i get fired up.
i get angry at the ignorant things people say.
most recently, i have read this article "Sexting-Related Bullying Cited in Hillsborough Teen's Suicide."
(http://www.tampabay.com/news/humaninterest/sexting-related-bullying-cited-in-hillsborough-teens-suicide/1054895)
i suggest that you read the article, but to give you the sparknotes version, a 13 year old girl named Hope sends a boy she likes a picture of herself topless.
the picture gets sent all over her middle school and even the high school.
Hope is bullied, ridiculed, and tormented at school by her peers.
she is called a whore and a slut.
she starts cutting.
school officials find out at the end of the school year and decide to suspend her for the first week of the following school year.
she is also not allowed to run for the leadership position she has held in her school's FFA organization (in which she has excelled).
nothing is done to the students who were responsible for the mass spreading of the pictures.
Hope meets with the school counselor very often and the counselor has her sign a faux contract--a "no-harm contract"--that says she will never cause harm to herself, she will always go to someone for help.
Hope's parents are not notified of this.
Hope hangs herself in her room.
now, i don't think that any one person is at fault for this tragedy. i think it is a combination of things, and you are more than welcome to disagree. however, most of the comments on the article were very hard to read for me. almost every one wanted to point the finger of blame at a specific person. "it's her parents" "no, it's the counselor" "it's public schools" "no, it's the government"...etc
i do believe that Hope's parents should have been notified of her situation. i also believe that there could have been something done about the constant bullying. according to the article, Hope's friends would have to surround her and escort her through the halls, all the while others called her names.
i do struggle with the schools actions in the situation as well. by punishing Hope, and, therefore, giving the situation school-wide attention, she was only moreso victimized. being suspended (more than 3 months after the actual incident) and not being able to run for her position in the FFA were all punishments, and punishing a victim is like saying "you deserve what is happening to you." and what happened to the bullies? i think you can answer that one...
however, i have to defend a few points.
in many of the comments people were saying "she's a kid, and kids make mistakes". this should not offend me, but it does. i think it is a common misconception that "kids" make mistakes. unless i'm living in a different world from everyone else, i have observed that EVERYone makes mistakes. regardless of age. and that is okay. mistakes are necessary. we need to make mistakes in order to learn from them. a person's mistakes and what they take from those experiences are what make them them!
also, many people blamed the public school system, and trashed public schools in general. now, i'm biased because i went to a public school, but, i am so so so grateful that i went to a public school. i'm not saying that public schools are perfect, but what school is? in fact, of the private schools i know of, they are just as "bad", if not worse, than the public schools i know. just as much drug use, alcohol use, teenage pregnancy, bullying, etc.
the type of school rarely determines the quality of students in social settings. there are mean kids wherever you go. there are kids that will put down other kids in every school across the country. i know this to be true, because i've learned that it is NOT just a middle school or high school thing. there are mean people, and there are bullies, that are fully grown adults--out in the world, tearing people down. it is what we teach our kids and what SOCIETY teaches as acceptable and unacceptable that determines what type of person you will be.
all i'm saying is: private doesn't mean better.
another common thread in the comments was that Hope's parents should have monitored her better; that all parents should monitor their child's every move. put blocks on their internet access, only allow them a phone without a camera, etc.
whereas i see the thought process behind this, this is not the answer. yes, you should always know where your child is going, and who with, and for how long (or roughly), but you cannot monitor them all day, every day. it's just not possible. and if you were to, you would be showing that you have no trust in your child to make the right decisions. and is this not just a way of saying you're (the parent) not completely confident that you have taught them well?
let's say you do, however. you've found a way to completely monitor your child--cellphone minutes counted, texts read, internet locks...what happens when they leave the house? i'll tell you, they're bombarded. bombarded with tv commercials, magazines, billboards, movies, SOCIETY. all of which are sending them mixed messages. ads showing what "beautiful" women are supposed to look like, magazines that tell you "100 ways to turn your man on" or "how to GET a man"..., movies that display raunchy sex scenes--in a good light.
however, this is NOT reality. in our sex-obsessed society young girls and women are trapped between a rock and hard place.
being too sexual makes you a "whore"--BUT--being too reserved makes you a "prude." and BOTH are negatives. we can't win.
we're taught it's "unladylike" to sit with your legs open, to dress "slutty", to sleep around.
but on the other hand, we're taught that you have to primp yourself up, SEX yourself up, to get a man.
(disclaimer: i am NOT saying this is true for all men...but most)
now, on the contrary, men have their cake aaaand eat it too.
men are taught that the more women you get, the more "manly" you are. you're praised for scoring well with the ladies...
some women may consider these guys "sluts" but other than that, most will praise them for being a "player"...
several comments from females spoke of how appalled they were that a girl would send such pictures. they said she should have more respect for herself.
well, to this i say, it's easier said than done.
for women--of all ages--respecting yourself is one of the hardest things to do. i'm not sure if i know one woman who is completely comfortable with her body--which is a BIG part of respecting yourself, because if you don't find yourself beautiful, you are apt to do things that make you feel beautiful even if it's only for a little while. and i'm not saying that is what Hope did, but perhaps getting attention from a boy made her feel beautiful, i'm not sure, it's just a thought.
so for those who think it was shameful of her, think before you give out advice. like i said, it's hard for women of all ages to respect themselves, and i would imagine it would be even more difficult for a girl of 13 who hasn't fully grown into herself physically or psychologically. after all, at that age, you're still becoming you...
when will we learn that we're sending mixed signals to our girls--and practically from birth!
be thin/ be curvy
big butts are sexy/ "look at her fat ass"
have sex... but not too much
stop gendering. it's only ruining everything.
pusshej,
a rather dismayed jules
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I Just Don't Get It
*NOTE: this is just a picture off of google. none of the specific people i am referring to are pictured. this is purely for a visual example.
Okay, there is not much meat to this aggravation, so i'll jump right on in.
since halloween only just recently passed, i have seen many photo albums dedicated to the evening uploaded onto facebook.
i have seen FIVE "trailer trash" costumes. all of which are girls that are pregnant and have a black eye.
WHY do we insist on stereotyping that this is what "trailer trash" means?
WHY do we even stereotype people "trailer trash" in general?
WHY do we think a pregnant woman with a black eye is funny?!?
i'm getting seriously irritated by our country's assumed sense of humor.
stereotypes, especially the negative ones, are not funny.
ABUSE is NOT FUNNY.
alsdfaoiw;ehglsdkjgao;weigf
pusshej,
a much irritated jules
Saturday, November 14, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Running on the Treadmill that is Life
sooooo
Lip Sync went well. the first night was not so great...the second night was kickass. we got 3rd place (out of 13)--it's not first, like the last couple of years, but it felt like first to us. a lot of hard work was put into it and it sure paid off.
Take Back the Night was a great success. we had probably about 200 people there and a police escort. it was very cool. quite a few differences from what i'm used to. we did not walk with candles, but with signs that read different statistics or just power words/phrases. it was also a silent march, which was a really cool addition.
after the march we had a candle vigil, and then an event called Speak Out, where we had four speakers: 2 women from Safe Haven (a women's shelter) and 2 female police officers.
at Speak Out we also presented the shirts that were made during the week for the Clothesline Project (each color stood for a different type of abuse, and people could decorate them however they wanted).
following Speak Out, we let everyone write a word or a story on a piece of paper, tie it to a balloon, and they were released all at once.
Little Shop of Horrors was alright. i give it a 6--but i critique pretty harshly. however, allll of the male actors were fantastic. so, props to those guys!
initiation was awesome! i adore my kappa sisters, and especially my Big, Anna. she's the best. i couldn't ask for a better Big.
there is too much to say about halloween weekend with olivia. i had SO SO SO SO SO much fun with her. i hope she enjoyed it here as much as i enjoyed having her here. hopefully next fall she'll be going to UT and we'll be living together!!!
this past weekend my daddy came to visit! it definitely made my week. i really needed to see him. however, i think i've gained about 15 pounds from going out to eat so much!
this week is going to be rather stressful. i'm not anticipating it at all. BUT there are only 3 weeks of school left, which is SO nice. after this week we have a little over a week until thanksgiving, and then a little over a week and then it's CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!
unfortunately i won't be home for t-day, so i am looking forward to xmas even moreso than i usually do (which is a lot).
alright, that's it. i have to go read.
pusshej,
jules
Lip Sync went well. the first night was not so great...the second night was kickass. we got 3rd place (out of 13)--it's not first, like the last couple of years, but it felt like first to us. a lot of hard work was put into it and it sure paid off.
Take Back the Night was a great success. we had probably about 200 people there and a police escort. it was very cool. quite a few differences from what i'm used to. we did not walk with candles, but with signs that read different statistics or just power words/phrases. it was also a silent march, which was a really cool addition.
after the march we had a candle vigil, and then an event called Speak Out, where we had four speakers: 2 women from Safe Haven (a women's shelter) and 2 female police officers.
at Speak Out we also presented the shirts that were made during the week for the Clothesline Project (each color stood for a different type of abuse, and people could decorate them however they wanted).
following Speak Out, we let everyone write a word or a story on a piece of paper, tie it to a balloon, and they were released all at once.
Little Shop of Horrors was alright. i give it a 6--but i critique pretty harshly. however, allll of the male actors were fantastic. so, props to those guys!
initiation was awesome! i adore my kappa sisters, and especially my Big, Anna. she's the best. i couldn't ask for a better Big.
there is too much to say about halloween weekend with olivia. i had SO SO SO SO SO much fun with her. i hope she enjoyed it here as much as i enjoyed having her here. hopefully next fall she'll be going to UT and we'll be living together!!!
this past weekend my daddy came to visit! it definitely made my week. i really needed to see him. however, i think i've gained about 15 pounds from going out to eat so much!
this week is going to be rather stressful. i'm not anticipating it at all. BUT there are only 3 weeks of school left, which is SO nice. after this week we have a little over a week until thanksgiving, and then a little over a week and then it's CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!
unfortunately i won't be home for t-day, so i am looking forward to xmas even moreso than i usually do (which is a lot).
alright, that's it. i have to go read.
pusshej,
jules
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
...in a nutshell
hey all, sorry it's been forever since i blogged. this semester has been cuh-razy, and i just need to get back in the swing of things.
NEXT WEEK, my dearest olivia is coming to visit me in tennessee! i can't frickin' wait! she's getting in thursday and going to Take Back the Night with me, and then we are going to see Little Shop of Horrors at the Clarence Brown. theeennn, friday she's going to classes with me, and then i must leave her and go spend friday night-saturday morning getting initiated into kkg. BUT--after that, we're tailgating, going to the UT vs South Carolina game, and then it's Halloween night! yay! even though i still don't have a costume...
also next week, is Lip Sync. each pledge class is competing and i can't wait! so pumped. the show is tuesday the 27th and wednesday the 28th. hope we win!
as i previously mentioned, Take Back the Night is next thursday, and i am super stoked about it. i'm on Women's Coordinating Council and i am actually on the committee for TBTN, so it's really exciting. Jenna and Kiersten, i wish you could be here with me! hopefully our candles will stay lit this time! lol
this past weekend (including thurs/fri) was fall break. i was pretty much the only person left in knoxville, but it was kinda nice. i spent a lot of quality time with my friend Netflix and roamed around knox. i went to Market Square (pictured above) for the first time and they played Indiana Jones on a big screen outside. it was so cute. it's a little courtyard that has shops and restaurants on all sides. whilst there, i met a very nice woman and her daughter and their dog--i wound up going for a walk with them all around downtown knox for about 2 hours. it was really nice, and we exchanged numbers so that we could get dinner sometime!
in other news, the Blues have had a pretty good start to their season!: 3-W, 4-L. sooo happy that my team is finally steppin' up.
also, i am SO in the holiday spirit! i can not contain my excitement for thanksgiving and christmas for some reason. it doesn't look like i'll be home for thanksgiving :( but i'm still trying...
cross your fingers that i find a good job, and SOON. rent doesn't pay itself and i need gas in my car...especially if i want to get home for t-day.
welllll i think that's it for now.
pusshej,
jules
Friday, September 18, 2009
No love for PETA
wow.
i have always been disappointed by PETA, and i hate that i'm giving them the attention they want by writing about them, but i just can't stand it anymore.
countless ads by PETA have been offensive in many ways. most of their ads are extremely sexist and some are even racist. i am all for being vegetarian, but this is such an offensive and inappropriate way to get the message out there. i, personally, was never swayed by PETA to even consider being a vegetarian. what got me was actually the book Skinny Bitch (i'm not too fond of the name...but it's a great read) by Rory Freedman and Kim Barnouin.
PETA creates ads that they know will be banned in order to get the publicity. i think this is a cheap way of getting attention. if you have a cause worth fighting for, there should be no need to partake in such a pathetic, cop-out, technique as to spread the word.
for instance, on PETA's website, in the "banned commercials" section, there are two PSAs. one by Casey Affleck and one by Alicia Silverstone. PLEASE watch them both...and just observe what you see.
Too Hot for TV: PETA's Banned Ads
Too Hot for TV: PETA's Banned Ads
is Casey naked? is Casey climbing out of a pool? is Casey eyeing the camera seductively?...i'll save you the time. answer: NO. to all.
if you haven't seen many PETA ads, just go to google images and type in PETA ads. 95% of them will be naked or half naked women...
just this past year PETA came out with a commercial for the super bowl which was knowingly banned...
i really don't think i'm over-reacting when i say that it is disgusting.
'Veggie Love': PETA's Banned Super Bowl Ad
PETA ads have been known to display women dressed as animals in cages, or scandily clad like in the above video.
the most recent ad that they have put out has shocked me even more...not only is it sexist, but it is downright MEAN.
in PETA's press release it just gets worse...
"...A new PETA billboard campaign that was just launched in Jacksonville reminds people who are struggling to lose weight — and who want to have enough energy to chase a beach ball — that going vegetarian can be an effective way to shed those extra pounds that keep them from looking good in a bikini. The ad shows a woman whose “blubber” is spilling over the sides of her swimsuit bottom...Anyone wishing to achieve a hot “beach bod” is reminded that studies show that vegetarians are, on average, about 10 to 20 pounds lighter than meat-eaters."
"Trying to hide your thunder thighs and balloon belly is no day at the beach," says PETA Executive Vice President Tracy Reiman.
looking good in a bikini should NOT be the reason you eat healthy. being HEALTHY, should be the reason you eat healthy! PETA, however, knows that our society is one that, unfortunately, strives for the "ideal" body. this is just absolutely awful to target women who may, or may not, already be self conscious about their weight. to all women in general! to reinforce the idea that we should be obsessed with losing our "blubber", as PETA puts it, and getting that "hot beach bod" that they tell us we should have, is just horrible. this is the type of thing that just perpetuates awful body image problems, which, in turn, affects things like eating disorders and confidence.
i'm down off of my soap box now...
pusshej,
a much frustrated jules
Monday, September 14, 2009
kanye, kanye, kanye...
hey all,
so tonight was the MTV Video Music Awards, and i was pretty stoked, since i love allll award shows, but particularly because this one is about music--which i loooove.
anyways, mr. west, who is known for his ranting at award ceremonies, did not let us down. after the FIRST award of the night he graced us with his oh-so-charming presence...
taylor swift, such a sweetie (i say this as if i know her lol), won best female music video...WELL, in the middle of her speech kanye gets up on stage, takes the mic from her, and says something along the lines of: "congrats, but beyonce had the best video and she should've won."
d. bag.
however, later on in the night beyonce won best music video of the year and SHE said something along the lines of: "i remember when i won my first moonman with destiny's child when i was 17, so taylor come have your moment." and so she let taylor come back on stage and give her acceptance speech. so cute.
beyonce, good PR.
lady gaga had a kickasssss performance. so creative. mad props gaga. although, her outfits were gettin' a little ridic. also, highlight of the night for me, personally. when gaga accepted her award she said: "this is for god and the gays." love her.
pink frickin' blew my mind. she did cirque de soleil crap up above the crowd while singing--SUPER impressive. but please, lose the weird pastey...
adam brody siting. first in a long time. presented an award with megan fox. sorry megan, you're beautiful and all, but when next to dear adam brody...well, my attention is elsewhere.
also, a smoking hot new trailer for New Moon was released during the award show and it rocked. can't WAIT for it to come out. suppppposedly, knoxville was chosen to be one of the premiere sites for it---i know, my jaw dropped when i heard it too.
in other news, sort of...rumor on the street is that Rpatz and Kristen-i-had-a-lobotomy-Stewart are engaged. which, all i'm sayin', is that it could be really awkward for her when i have his baby...
now for a few personal updates:
-still unemployed...with rent due in a little over 2 weeks, sorority dues due this past week (still haven't paid...obvs), and too much on my credit card...
-loan problems up the yin yang...hopefully this time it will go through. cross your fingers everyone (all 2 of you that read my blog)
-i'm leaving for florida in 2 weeks, just for the weekend. going to disneyworld with my mom, and miss olivia is going to meet up with us--SO excited. i need a vacation. and i need to see liv.
-i am hoping to join the Womens Coordinating Council. i submitted my application and have an interview tuesday. wish me luck.
-i am running for an exec. position on the Jr Panhellenic Committee. again, wish me luck, my interview is next tues.
hmm...i think that's about all.
i'll try and blog more. i know i've been slacking.
pusshej,
jules
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Exhausted
this song is my mind/life right now.
Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
it's a great song and it's also one of my favorites.
enjoy.
bedtime.
pusshej,
jules
Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
it's a great song and it's also one of my favorites.
enjoy.
bedtime.
pusshej,
jules
Friday, August 14, 2009
666
today was the day from helllllllll
everything is going wrong and proving more difficult than i could have ever imagined.
i'm rushing a sorority this fall...so i had to provide previous attended college transcripts...
i went through hell trying to get my AI transcript to the recruitment people on time and i thought that the worst was over.
turns out i was sooooo wrong.
i should've known today would be crappy.
the first thing that happens is encountering 2 protesters outside of the reproductive health clinic down the street from me. they were reading from the bible and talking at me as i walked by about how bad abortion is. it really makes me sad that people fear what they don't know--and that their solution is to eliminate or "fix" the "problem". there is so much confusion when it comes to the never-ending debate over reproductive rights. i get so frustrated because it's about women's freedoms and rights. just because i'm pro-choice, doesn't mean i'm ANTI-life. people aren't even arguing about the same thing. i don't think that everyone should just run out and have abortions left and right, but i think that we as a country should put a little more faith in women and trust them to make their own decisions.
soorrrrry, done ranting about that...
i went to student services to find out how much i needed to make my loan for after my pell grant and unsubsidized and subsidized loans. well before i left i wanted to double check that i was in the system for late orientation because it's the 17th and i havent gotten any emails or anything about where i should go and at what time.
so the woman was like you have to go to blah dee blah room. so i did. and they said that i hadnt registered. since when do you register for orientation?! and why didn't they tell me that a month ago when i was here and found out that i missed my original orientation?!
well anyway, the only reason i even have to go to orientation is to meet with an advisor so that i can register for classes (which already was going to suck seeing as i'd meet w/ one 2 days before school started). BUT, according to the cute boy behind the desk, my dept's advisors are busy until AFTER school starts...seriously, seriously? so he said to register online...i went home and registered. it cost me $40. i still dont know if i have an appt w/ an advisor...so i may have just paid $40 for nothing.
also, my loans aren't covering my rent this year, so i need to find a job ASAP. i have a little saved up, but i don't want to deplete my funds before securing a job. i applied at buffalo wild wings and chili's thinking bar/restaurants bring in good crowds during football season. buffalo wild wings didn't seem promising because they had just hired people about 2 weeks ago, but that they said they'd call if someone didn't work out...yea right.
then chili's seemed promising. they said they were hiring when i asked and the girl who had me fill out an application yesterday said to come back today and talk with someone. well i did and turns out that girl didn't have the authority to say that and they are all hired except possibly daytime shifts...which is when i'll be in class.
sooooo now, i don't know where i'm working, much less where to APPLY; i don't know if i'll be able to register for classes--or even start classes when i'm supposed to; and i don't know what the hell im doing with all this sorority stuff. i feel a little out of my league.
my day wasn't over though. i decided to treat myself to takeout. chinese food just puts me in a good mood...well when i came back, my swipe key for my apartment wasn't working, and the office was already closed. so thankfully my roommate hadn't gotten to far yet and came on back to let me in.
soooo all in all, i have accomplished very little. instead, in the past 2 days i have watched the first 2 seasons of Weeds--which i recommend to all--it's wonderful.
tomorrow: i get my loan figured out (knock on wood), start job hunt part deaux, and have my recruitment welcome meeting...
wish me luck...
pusshej,
jules
everything is going wrong and proving more difficult than i could have ever imagined.
i'm rushing a sorority this fall...so i had to provide previous attended college transcripts...
i went through hell trying to get my AI transcript to the recruitment people on time and i thought that the worst was over.
turns out i was sooooo wrong.
i should've known today would be crappy.
the first thing that happens is encountering 2 protesters outside of the reproductive health clinic down the street from me. they were reading from the bible and talking at me as i walked by about how bad abortion is. it really makes me sad that people fear what they don't know--and that their solution is to eliminate or "fix" the "problem". there is so much confusion when it comes to the never-ending debate over reproductive rights. i get so frustrated because it's about women's freedoms and rights. just because i'm pro-choice, doesn't mean i'm ANTI-life. people aren't even arguing about the same thing. i don't think that everyone should just run out and have abortions left and right, but i think that we as a country should put a little more faith in women and trust them to make their own decisions.
soorrrrry, done ranting about that...
i went to student services to find out how much i needed to make my loan for after my pell grant and unsubsidized and subsidized loans. well before i left i wanted to double check that i was in the system for late orientation because it's the 17th and i havent gotten any emails or anything about where i should go and at what time.
so the woman was like you have to go to blah dee blah room. so i did. and they said that i hadnt registered. since when do you register for orientation?! and why didn't they tell me that a month ago when i was here and found out that i missed my original orientation?!
well anyway, the only reason i even have to go to orientation is to meet with an advisor so that i can register for classes (which already was going to suck seeing as i'd meet w/ one 2 days before school started). BUT, according to the cute boy behind the desk, my dept's advisors are busy until AFTER school starts...seriously, seriously? so he said to register online...i went home and registered. it cost me $40. i still dont know if i have an appt w/ an advisor...so i may have just paid $40 for nothing.
also, my loans aren't covering my rent this year, so i need to find a job ASAP. i have a little saved up, but i don't want to deplete my funds before securing a job. i applied at buffalo wild wings and chili's thinking bar/restaurants bring in good crowds during football season. buffalo wild wings didn't seem promising because they had just hired people about 2 weeks ago, but that they said they'd call if someone didn't work out...yea right.
then chili's seemed promising. they said they were hiring when i asked and the girl who had me fill out an application yesterday said to come back today and talk with someone. well i did and turns out that girl didn't have the authority to say that and they are all hired except possibly daytime shifts...which is when i'll be in class.
sooooo now, i don't know where i'm working, much less where to APPLY; i don't know if i'll be able to register for classes--or even start classes when i'm supposed to; and i don't know what the hell im doing with all this sorority stuff. i feel a little out of my league.
my day wasn't over though. i decided to treat myself to takeout. chinese food just puts me in a good mood...well when i came back, my swipe key for my apartment wasn't working, and the office was already closed. so thankfully my roommate hadn't gotten to far yet and came on back to let me in.
soooo all in all, i have accomplished very little. instead, in the past 2 days i have watched the first 2 seasons of Weeds--which i recommend to all--it's wonderful.
tomorrow: i get my loan figured out (knock on wood), start job hunt part deaux, and have my recruitment welcome meeting...
wish me luck...
pusshej,
jules
Sunday, June 28, 2009
The Grocery List That Is My Life
sooooooo to anyone who actually reads my blog: sorry i've been MIA for the past 2 months almost.
things:
--i just saw The Avett Brothers in concert thursday night. they were INCREDIBLE! please go see them if you ever get the chance. i know that they will be in chicago at the house of blues on june 28th (aka tomorrow, but technically today)
ps- their opening band--Samantha Crane & The Midnight Shivers--were verrrry good as well.
--nannying is pretty much the only thing i'm doing with my summer...
--if you're a soccer person you should know this, but if not, the US team actually made it to the final four in the world cup. they beat Spain, which is incredible...spain has not lost one single game since 2006...and normally our country's team sucks majorly. but now we're in the final 2 (since we beat spain) and we will be playing against Brazil tomorrow (but technically today). they will undoubtedly kick our ass, but it's extremely cool that we made it to the finals in general. so if you get a chance, watch the game!
--i've been saving up all summer to buy a car (my first) because i need one when i move to tennessee. fingers crossed i get the '95 red explorer that my cousin is selling. my mom wants something "safe" and it needs to be able to transport tons of my crap to my new home :)
--one of my bestest friends in the entire world is coming (from sweden, where she lives) to the US for 3 weeks in july and i could not be happier. i haven't seen her in a year; since last summer when i went to sweden to visit her :)
--also, my brother zach, who lives in california is coming to visit for a few days in july. i'm super stoked because i haven't seen him in forever, and i sorta, kinda, just a little bit, miss him...lol
--i shall be traveling to tennessee to find an apartment july 9th and 10th, then i shall be in chicago the 11th and 12th. soooo chi-town people: i better see some of you!!!
--for any of you Guster fans (like me!!!) pleassssssse take advantage of the free concert they are putting on in grant park on july 4th! i dont think i'll be able to make it, and since they are one of my all time fave bands, i recommend them to allll.
--movies i recommend:
>Little Ashes: "in the midst of the repression and political unrest of pre-Spanish Civil War, eccentric artist Salvador Dali and renowned poet and revolutionary Federico Garcia Lorca find their artistic and sexual freedom. the two form a bond challenged by their fierce ambitions, their friends, the struggle between a love for Spain and a love for each other."
my comments: VERY good. it's artsty, so if that isn't your cup of tea, you won't care for it. robert pattinson does an amazing job playing Dali.
>Away We Go: "about an unmarried couple in their thirties, who are expecting their first child. they move so they can be close to his parents (hers passed away). they find out that his parents are leaving the country for two years and wont be there for the birth. so they decide to travel around the U.S. and Canada to find the perfect place to call home and bring up their child. along the way, they are also looking for the perfect family as a role model for them to follow in raising their daughter. as with all new families, they discover their own way."
my comments: slightly awkward opening scene to view with your father next to you...lol this is a very funny, sweet, heart-warming movie. sad, but meaningful, it is well worth shellin' out the cash. featuring john krasinski from "The Office", Maya Rudolph, and Allison Janney.
--things i want to see:
>Paper Heart: documentary about how Charlyne Yi doesn't believe in love. her real-life boyfriend (Michael Cera) is in it as well.
>Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
>Julie and Julia: based on 2 true stories. about julia child and how she influences this woman julie. featuring the wonderful Meryl Streep and the adorable Amy Adams
--last but not least, my birthday is monday.
pusshej,
jules
things:
--i just saw The Avett Brothers in concert thursday night. they were INCREDIBLE! please go see them if you ever get the chance. i know that they will be in chicago at the house of blues on june 28th (aka tomorrow, but technically today)
ps- their opening band--Samantha Crane & The Midnight Shivers--were verrrry good as well.
--nannying is pretty much the only thing i'm doing with my summer...
--if you're a soccer person you should know this, but if not, the US team actually made it to the final four in the world cup. they beat Spain, which is incredible...spain has not lost one single game since 2006...and normally our country's team sucks majorly. but now we're in the final 2 (since we beat spain) and we will be playing against Brazil tomorrow (but technically today). they will undoubtedly kick our ass, but it's extremely cool that we made it to the finals in general. so if you get a chance, watch the game!
--i've been saving up all summer to buy a car (my first) because i need one when i move to tennessee. fingers crossed i get the '95 red explorer that my cousin is selling. my mom wants something "safe" and it needs to be able to transport tons of my crap to my new home :)
--one of my bestest friends in the entire world is coming (from sweden, where she lives) to the US for 3 weeks in july and i could not be happier. i haven't seen her in a year; since last summer when i went to sweden to visit her :)
--also, my brother zach, who lives in california is coming to visit for a few days in july. i'm super stoked because i haven't seen him in forever, and i sorta, kinda, just a little bit, miss him...lol
--i shall be traveling to tennessee to find an apartment july 9th and 10th, then i shall be in chicago the 11th and 12th. soooo chi-town people: i better see some of you!!!
--for any of you Guster fans (like me!!!) pleassssssse take advantage of the free concert they are putting on in grant park on july 4th! i dont think i'll be able to make it, and since they are one of my all time fave bands, i recommend them to allll.
--movies i recommend:
>Little Ashes: "in the midst of the repression and political unrest of pre-Spanish Civil War, eccentric artist Salvador Dali and renowned poet and revolutionary Federico Garcia Lorca find their artistic and sexual freedom. the two form a bond challenged by their fierce ambitions, their friends, the struggle between a love for Spain and a love for each other."
my comments: VERY good. it's artsty, so if that isn't your cup of tea, you won't care for it. robert pattinson does an amazing job playing Dali.
>Away We Go: "about an unmarried couple in their thirties, who are expecting their first child. they move so they can be close to his parents (hers passed away). they find out that his parents are leaving the country for two years and wont be there for the birth. so they decide to travel around the U.S. and Canada to find the perfect place to call home and bring up their child. along the way, they are also looking for the perfect family as a role model for them to follow in raising their daughter. as with all new families, they discover their own way."
my comments: slightly awkward opening scene to view with your father next to you...lol this is a very funny, sweet, heart-warming movie. sad, but meaningful, it is well worth shellin' out the cash. featuring john krasinski from "The Office", Maya Rudolph, and Allison Janney.
--things i want to see:
>Paper Heart: documentary about how Charlyne Yi doesn't believe in love. her real-life boyfriend (Michael Cera) is in it as well.
>Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
>Julie and Julia: based on 2 true stories. about julia child and how she influences this woman julie. featuring the wonderful Meryl Streep and the adorable Amy Adams
--last but not least, my birthday is monday.
pusshej,
jules
Thursday, May 7, 2009
246
246, that is the number of children who now have food to eat for a year.
today i volunteered for an organization called Feed My Starving Children.
we packaged a rice/stew mix that has been scientifically created to help those suffering from malnutrition and starvation. it's 100% vegetarian and not too bad (we got to try it).
i worked for 2 hours and in those 2 hours my table alone packed 21 boxes of food. that is 756 bags of food total. each bag is enough to feed a family of 6.
now that is just what my tiny group of 10 accomplished. overall, in that 2 hour block, a total of 280 people volunteered and helped package food. all in all, we packaged over 80,000 bags of food. that is enough to feed 246 children for a year.
incredible.
also, this organization has been pairing with Willow Creek Community Church (where i volunteered) for the past 4 weeks. this is the final week for packaging food. as of now they have packaged 4.2 MILLION bags of food.
i only wish i could hand deliver it all to those kids in Zimbabwe.
if you're interested in volunteering for FMSC at any time here is their site: http://www.fmsc.org/Page.aspx?pid=361
i haven't felt this good in a while. i recommend it to all. :)
pusshej,
jules
Monday, April 20, 2009
Mirrors Pretend
so. even sitting here at my desk i'm not sure what this blog is going to be about. lately i have just realized my extreme dissatisfaction for my current life. i'm not saying that in an i-hate-the-world type of way. not in the least. i just feel like there is so much more i expect and want to do/accomplish in life. in the most cliche way possible, i feel like i'm living two different lives. one (the more dominant) feels very chained down and stuck. the other wants to be life changing but at the same time glamorous.
she's a model; a fashionista; a feminist; a wild child; securely employed; a gypsy.
currently, i am not a model, i am short; i am taping the mouth of that inner fashionista because i don't have an expendable income; i am an unsatisfied feminist longing for her old role model; i have no where to be wild--stuck in this concrete and dry wall loft; i am dogsitting 5 times a week for cash; i am stuck.
this is me venting...obviously. for instance, when i finally have a little spare cash and buy something in the realm of my ideal fashion, i get comments like "what's the occasion!?" or "you look nice today!"
all of these i appreciate of course, because they are compliments. however, i get frustrated because if i could afford to buy the things that i like it would not seem like i'm "dressing up"--it would just be my style; it would just be ME.
in saying this, i'm not sure what to do. it's as if i feel like i'm being fake, but i'm not. so how do you correct that type of feeling?
i shall go to bed with this cumbersome thought i guess.
pusshej,
an unwilling and confused jules :/
she's a model; a fashionista; a feminist; a wild child; securely employed; a gypsy.
currently, i am not a model, i am short; i am taping the mouth of that inner fashionista because i don't have an expendable income; i am an unsatisfied feminist longing for her old role model; i have no where to be wild--stuck in this concrete and dry wall loft; i am dogsitting 5 times a week for cash; i am stuck.
this is me venting...obviously. for instance, when i finally have a little spare cash and buy something in the realm of my ideal fashion, i get comments like "what's the occasion!?" or "you look nice today!"
all of these i appreciate of course, because they are compliments. however, i get frustrated because if i could afford to buy the things that i like it would not seem like i'm "dressing up"--it would just be my style; it would just be ME.
in saying this, i'm not sure what to do. it's as if i feel like i'm being fake, but i'm not. so how do you correct that type of feeling?
i shall go to bed with this cumbersome thought i guess.
pusshej,
an unwilling and confused jules :/
Friday, April 17, 2009
Monstrous May with Jules and Olivia
SO me and one of my bestest friends in the whole entire world (olivia) are spending a lot of much need time together in the month of May. since she lives in St. Louis still (currently) and i'm in Chi...seeing each other isn't always the easiest thing :/
here is the game plan:
weekend of May 1st--i'm going back to the Lou for prom where i will see my lovely all weekend!
weekend of May 8th--miss olivia is coming to Chi for the weekend!
weekend of May 15th--i come home to STL, we attend the A-Men Extravaganza (an a cappella concert), then leave the following day for our much anticipated roadtrip to Tennessee!
weekend of May 22nd--attend the graduation of miss olivia (and others lol)
weekend of May 29th--perhaps the dessert date we've been postponing for months?
all in all, i miss my lovely olivia, and i can't wait to see her!
pusshej,
jules
here is the game plan:
weekend of May 1st--i'm going back to the Lou for prom where i will see my lovely all weekend!
weekend of May 8th--miss olivia is coming to Chi for the weekend!
weekend of May 15th--i come home to STL, we attend the A-Men Extravaganza (an a cappella concert), then leave the following day for our much anticipated roadtrip to Tennessee!
weekend of May 22nd--attend the graduation of miss olivia (and others lol)
weekend of May 29th--perhaps the dessert date we've been postponing for months?
all in all, i miss my lovely olivia, and i can't wait to see her!
pusshej,
jules
Stop and Smell the City...
hey all--i have SOOOO much to do this weekend/month/last-bit-of-school...
i would much rather be out smelling the roses...or in my case, smelling the city? which, is actually not bad; it's rather nice.
this is just an idea of my saturday:
-get up at 6am
-leave the apt no late than 7am
-run in the Wrigley Start Early 5k to prevent child abuse at 8am
-go home/shower/get cleaned up
-meet Kelley in Wrigleyville at Pick Me Up (yum yum yum!) for lunch at 11am
-go walk the dogs that I am sitting and play with them from 2-3pm
-meet up w/ Stevie downtown
-take Stevie to Wicker Park, maybe Belmont, then back to my apt
baaaahhhhh and somehow fit in all of my hw that i need to finish.
fml.
good news is: i opened a savings account at fifth/thirds bank yesterday and bought new shoes today at Akira for $30! woot woot!
to do:
-get recommendation letter from teacher back home to send to UTK
-send outline for powerpoint to group member...
-create rough draft of the event invitation for group project (and eventually the final draft)
-write rough draft of my integrated marketing final paper (and eventually the final draft)
-write paper for class monday
-sell my books from AI and Columbia
updates:
my detox is going well, although i haven't run for the past 3 days and my 5k is tomorrow morning... :/
also, the blues did not win their first playoff game against the Vancouver Canucks...better luck w/ game 2 tonight at 10pm!
pusshej,
jules
i would much rather be out smelling the roses...or in my case, smelling the city? which, is actually not bad; it's rather nice.
this is just an idea of my saturday:
-get up at 6am
-leave the apt no late than 7am
-run in the Wrigley Start Early 5k to prevent child abuse at 8am
-go home/shower/get cleaned up
-meet Kelley in Wrigleyville at Pick Me Up (yum yum yum!) for lunch at 11am
-go walk the dogs that I am sitting and play with them from 2-3pm
-meet up w/ Stevie downtown
-take Stevie to Wicker Park, maybe Belmont, then back to my apt
baaaahhhhh and somehow fit in all of my hw that i need to finish.
fml.
good news is: i opened a savings account at fifth/thirds bank yesterday and bought new shoes today at Akira for $30! woot woot!
to do:
-get recommendation letter from teacher back home to send to UTK
-send outline for powerpoint to group member...
-create rough draft of the event invitation for group project (and eventually the final draft)
-write rough draft of my integrated marketing final paper (and eventually the final draft)
-write paper for class monday
-sell my books from AI and Columbia
updates:
my detox is going well, although i haven't run for the past 3 days and my 5k is tomorrow morning... :/
also, the blues did not win their first playoff game against the Vancouver Canucks...better luck w/ game 2 tonight at 10pm!
pusshej,
jules
Saturday, April 11, 2009
<3 I BLEED BLUE! <3
I'M SOOOOO FUCKING EXCITED!
we may not be the best, but it's been 4 seasons since we even came close to making the playoffs!!!
I am so proud of the Blues!!!
pusshej,
jules (mrs. oshie/mrs. backes)
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Take a Second to Care
http://www.dayofsilence.org/
please consider doing this. it's not difficult and it really has a great message. i've done it for the past 4 years but it's been with my high school...i feel a little alone in it now--so join me, won't you?!
pusshej,
jules
Sunday, April 5, 2009
Life Detox
hey all
so, whenever i feel especially bogged down or just caught in life's clutter i do some sort of cleansing. normally, i purge my facebook--of friends, tagged photos, and profile shtuff--and that is sufficient. however, lately it just isn't enough. perhaps this is because i've run out of things to get rid of or perhaps this is because i need something a little more meaningful to upgrade.
currently, i am on a health-fix. character-fix. overall being-fix. life-fix.
--i've started running again (since i had shin splints last semester--ow).
--i've been transitioning into becoming a vegetarian.
--my dad (who is a chiropractor) gave me this detox kit, which i started the first of this month, that is supposed to rid your body of all the nasty and make you feel all good inside. :)
--i've started really sitting down and planning out my *immediate* future. goals, wants, necessities, etc.
to be honest, ever since i was little i thought that i would be a chef and own a restaurant. when it got to be time for my friends to start thinking about what they wanted to major in after high school, i started to second guess myself. however, at the time i just though it was because i had never really thought of what else i might want to do. i was almost afraid to think about what else i might want to do; to change my mind.
i have always been a slave to the stage. i was in musicals, plays, one acts, choir, a cappella, etc. thespians was pretty much my life. it consumed most of my free time. even though i have a love for it, i do not have the confidence of my ability to pursue it as a career. on top of that, i know that i am not as good as the other hundreds of women trying to "make it big"--and i'm okay with that. theater was the only other thing i could think of to study though...so what do i do?
currently i am a marketing communications major with a focus in public relations and a minor in women's studies. marketing is good...it comes naturally to me. creativity, people skills, public speaking skills (from the many years of theater). and women's studies has only become more interesting to me since i took a life-changing course by a wonderful woman at my high school, Ms. Moore. She is the sole reason that i even considered minoring in it.
however, even though marketing isn't bad...it's just not great. i'm not excited for classes. and on top of that, i don't feel challenged at my school. most of my teachers don't even have lesson plans...
i like structure. i like organization. i even like hw to a point. it reminds me that i'm not wasting my time and money (yes, i'm paying for school). but at my school, these things rarely occur.
why should i stay at a school that i don't feel challenges me?
NOW: i have no clue what i'm doing with my life.
all i know is that i'm leaving Chicago. i have my apartment until august and i will be going between St. Louis and Chicago during the summer, but after that i won't be back.
i have applied to Florida Gulf Coast University and University of Tennessee: Knoxville, and will possibly apply to University of South Carolina.
i need new. i need warm weather. i need a school that has a community. i need sports teams to root for, school colors to wear, and pride in my school.
i miss being school spirited like in high school.
i love chicago, but there is no community at Columbia. not the kind that i crave, at least.
perhaps i will continue my major/minor at whatever school i am at in the fall, or perhaps i will go into a full BA in women's studies so that i can possibly teach in the long run. who knows?
all i know, is that i'm getting out.
wish me luck.
pusshej,
jules
so, whenever i feel especially bogged down or just caught in life's clutter i do some sort of cleansing. normally, i purge my facebook--of friends, tagged photos, and profile shtuff--and that is sufficient. however, lately it just isn't enough. perhaps this is because i've run out of things to get rid of or perhaps this is because i need something a little more meaningful to upgrade.
currently, i am on a health-fix. character-fix. overall being-fix. life-fix.
--i've started running again (since i had shin splints last semester--ow).
--i've been transitioning into becoming a vegetarian.
--my dad (who is a chiropractor) gave me this detox kit, which i started the first of this month, that is supposed to rid your body of all the nasty and make you feel all good inside. :)
--i've started really sitting down and planning out my *immediate* future. goals, wants, necessities, etc.
to be honest, ever since i was little i thought that i would be a chef and own a restaurant. when it got to be time for my friends to start thinking about what they wanted to major in after high school, i started to second guess myself. however, at the time i just though it was because i had never really thought of what else i might want to do. i was almost afraid to think about what else i might want to do; to change my mind.
i have always been a slave to the stage. i was in musicals, plays, one acts, choir, a cappella, etc. thespians was pretty much my life. it consumed most of my free time. even though i have a love for it, i do not have the confidence of my ability to pursue it as a career. on top of that, i know that i am not as good as the other hundreds of women trying to "make it big"--and i'm okay with that. theater was the only other thing i could think of to study though...so what do i do?
currently i am a marketing communications major with a focus in public relations and a minor in women's studies. marketing is good...it comes naturally to me. creativity, people skills, public speaking skills (from the many years of theater). and women's studies has only become more interesting to me since i took a life-changing course by a wonderful woman at my high school, Ms. Moore. She is the sole reason that i even considered minoring in it.
however, even though marketing isn't bad...it's just not great. i'm not excited for classes. and on top of that, i don't feel challenged at my school. most of my teachers don't even have lesson plans...
i like structure. i like organization. i even like hw to a point. it reminds me that i'm not wasting my time and money (yes, i'm paying for school). but at my school, these things rarely occur.
why should i stay at a school that i don't feel challenges me?
NOW: i have no clue what i'm doing with my life.
all i know is that i'm leaving Chicago. i have my apartment until august and i will be going between St. Louis and Chicago during the summer, but after that i won't be back.
i have applied to Florida Gulf Coast University and University of Tennessee: Knoxville, and will possibly apply to University of South Carolina.
i need new. i need warm weather. i need a school that has a community. i need sports teams to root for, school colors to wear, and pride in my school.
i miss being school spirited like in high school.
i love chicago, but there is no community at Columbia. not the kind that i crave, at least.
perhaps i will continue my major/minor at whatever school i am at in the fall, or perhaps i will go into a full BA in women's studies so that i can possibly teach in the long run. who knows?
all i know, is that i'm getting out.
wish me luck.
pusshej,
jules
Sunday, March 29, 2009
One Pistachio Macaroon Please
so, spring break is over. not a whole hell of a lot was accomplished...oh well--it was nice to chill out for a week at home in the Lou. now, however, i am back to the reality of rent, papers (hw in general), and overall stress. YAY!..not!
all in all though, i would not have wanted to stay home any longer; i am ready to be back in Chi (perhaps not for the cold though!)
some things i've learned this SB:
-some of the best times happen in sweats and a tshirt
-hang out with the people you always say you will, but never get around to; you'll have more fun than you think
-even the smallest roadtrips can be incredibly fun
-a runner's high is the best medicine
-people come into your life just as quickly and easily as they leave it
-limp arm fights are the most painful/funny/entertaining way to bond
-be aware of your actions; they affect more than you
-when parallel parking, make sure to turn the steering wheel the correct direction (it makes it easier)
-don't try and "save" some guacamole; just eat it all
-showering is overrated (and harmful to the environment); shower less/waste less water :)
-not all doctors are scary
-find another bathroom if you hear people having sex in the first one (esp. if one of those someones is your brother)
-feelings for someone don't always appear slowly; sometimes they pop up out of nowhere...don't ignore them
-Twilight brings everyone closer
-a single macaroon from paris is probably the most genuine gift i've ever received
-you can't always depend on people; not even the ones that you think you should be able to
-keep sippy cup lids away from puppies
-one jacket is sometimes enough for two people...
one of my favorite songs has become the theme of my mood lately--if that makes sense.
the song: Danny's Song by Kenny Loggins
here are some lyrics:
"love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
love her and she'll bring you luck."
i'm sure you've heard the song, and if you haven't LISTEN to it. it's so calming.
Update: the boy i blogged about last week (Antonio) has been located. his body was found by some kids in a creek. he was so badly beaten that they couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl. Antonio had been missing 2 weeks. his 2 kids now don't have a father.
pusshej,
jules (i-have-no-clue-what-i'm-doing-with-my-life)
all in all though, i would not have wanted to stay home any longer; i am ready to be back in Chi (perhaps not for the cold though!)
some things i've learned this SB:
-some of the best times happen in sweats and a tshirt
-hang out with the people you always say you will, but never get around to; you'll have more fun than you think
-even the smallest roadtrips can be incredibly fun
-a runner's high is the best medicine
-people come into your life just as quickly and easily as they leave it
-limp arm fights are the most painful/funny/entertaining way to bond
-be aware of your actions; they affect more than you
-when parallel parking, make sure to turn the steering wheel the correct direction (it makes it easier)
-don't try and "save" some guacamole; just eat it all
-showering is overrated (and harmful to the environment); shower less/waste less water :)
-not all doctors are scary
-find another bathroom if you hear people having sex in the first one (esp. if one of those someones is your brother)
-feelings for someone don't always appear slowly; sometimes they pop up out of nowhere...don't ignore them
-Twilight brings everyone closer
-a single macaroon from paris is probably the most genuine gift i've ever received
-you can't always depend on people; not even the ones that you think you should be able to
-keep sippy cup lids away from puppies
-one jacket is sometimes enough for two people...
one of my favorite songs has become the theme of my mood lately--if that makes sense.
the song: Danny's Song by Kenny Loggins
here are some lyrics:
"love the girl who holds the world in a paper cup, drink it up,
love her and she'll bring you luck."
i'm sure you've heard the song, and if you haven't LISTEN to it. it's so calming.
Update: the boy i blogged about last week (Antonio) has been located. his body was found by some kids in a creek. he was so badly beaten that they couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl. Antonio had been missing 2 weeks. his 2 kids now don't have a father.
pusshej,
jules (i-have-no-clue-what-i'm-doing-with-my-life)
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
water + crackers = a healthy lifestyle
hey all,
i think it's time for some things to be said.
this week has been hellacious--for just about everyone i know, some more so than others.
the amount of confusion/hate/violence/sadness/and overall stress in the world right now is just overwhelming.
it kinda feels like we're blowing a balloon up too much; it's bound to wear thin sooner or later...and right now, it seems to be 2 minutes away from "later."
some craziness has just happened in my home town.
first, a senior-aged, Antonio, has gone missing. another boy, Todd, from my town has been arrested for confessing to beating the Antonio in the head with a baseball bat. Police still can't find Antonio.
second, a senior at my old high school, Eric, has died from a seizure. just a freak seizure.
i did not know Antonio at all, nor did I really know Eric (he was just a familiar face in the halls), but both of these stories are really damaging me in a way.
a friend of mine has also blogged about this, and i could not have said it better than she. she said she has never been more aware of the delicacy of life.
i hate that things like this have to happen so close to home in order for it to get through to people; to get through to me.
it's also weird because Eric's facebook profile isn't private...so even though we weren't facebook friends i can view all of his information and photos and see all of the "rip eric/you will be missed" messages on his wall...it's eerie, ya know? and fox news station's website has articles about Antonio...
as CLICHE as i could sound: it really just makes me want to live life to the fullest. seriously, just get up tomorrow and do something crazy and spontaneous and great for the world.
now for some other business:
miss olivia--
i started to tell you all of this saturday night, but i feel it must be blogged so you can always look back to it as a reference.
you have truly become more of a friend to me than i could have ever hoped for. i consider you one of my very best friends and in saying that, i care about you and your happiness more than my own a lot of the time. if i could make life just the tiniest bit less hectic and stressful for you i would--and i SO wish that i could. you seriously are the epitome of SUNSHINE and it saddens me to see you on a cloudy day.
i know that you have a million things running through your mind/life right now, but i know that you will be fine. you will be more than fine--you will be great. soon you'll be graduated and it will be summer. then you'll be off to florida where you will meet so many new people (which you are so good at) and it will be a relatively fresh start.
i admire you more than most people i know. you are one of the strongest, most inspiring people i have known. i feel so connected to you and i believe it's because we have so much in common. even the way events have shaped us are very similar. you have endured so much and i watch you take it like a champ. this just gives me the hope that i can do the same.
i have felt very overwhelmed in the past week-ish. for many reasons, but lately i have been in a blank mood. i'm not happy, but im not sad. even my issues that are pretty darn stressful (ex: how i'm paying rent in 2 weeks) are not really freaking me out. i've just started feeling (or not feeling, i guess) this way monday, and my only idea is the weather. monday and tuesday in chicago were gorgeous--i mean, gorgeous. i'm beginning to think i have seasonal depression. perhaps not that severe, but i definitely see an improvement in my mood when the weather is nicer. which is one reason WHY i am not staying in chicago after this year is up. i need something warmer and new. and with new, i know i'll at least start out happy because i love being somewhere new.
i, too, olivia, don't always like talking to my friends about whats bothering me, but for another reason. i also feel like my problems are just that, my problems. it's hard enough for me to handle, so why should i put that on my friends? they have enough on their plates as it is; they don't need to worry about me too. and simply, i feel like i should fix my problems myself and if i'm whining to my friends, that is not helping anything--so why do it at all? i always tell myself i'll keep everything to myself, but it never happens. i'm a sucker for sympathy, i'll admit it. i'm ashamed of it, but it's true.
ugh...i need to force myself to sleep. classes are almost out for springbreak, just 3 more...
i'll blog more tomorrow. i have much, much more to say...
here's the link to Olivia's blog, enjoy: http://ohlivianne.blogspot.com/
pusshej,
jules
i think it's time for some things to be said.
this week has been hellacious--for just about everyone i know, some more so than others.
the amount of confusion/hate/violence/sadness/and overall stress in the world right now is just overwhelming.
it kinda feels like we're blowing a balloon up too much; it's bound to wear thin sooner or later...and right now, it seems to be 2 minutes away from "later."
some craziness has just happened in my home town.
first, a senior-aged, Antonio, has gone missing. another boy, Todd, from my town has been arrested for confessing to beating the Antonio in the head with a baseball bat. Police still can't find Antonio.
second, a senior at my old high school, Eric, has died from a seizure. just a freak seizure.
i did not know Antonio at all, nor did I really know Eric (he was just a familiar face in the halls), but both of these stories are really damaging me in a way.
a friend of mine has also blogged about this, and i could not have said it better than she. she said she has never been more aware of the delicacy of life.
i hate that things like this have to happen so close to home in order for it to get through to people; to get through to me.
it's also weird because Eric's facebook profile isn't private...so even though we weren't facebook friends i can view all of his information and photos and see all of the "rip eric/you will be missed" messages on his wall...it's eerie, ya know? and fox news station's website has articles about Antonio...
as CLICHE as i could sound: it really just makes me want to live life to the fullest. seriously, just get up tomorrow and do something crazy and spontaneous and great for the world.
now for some other business:
miss olivia--
i started to tell you all of this saturday night, but i feel it must be blogged so you can always look back to it as a reference.
you have truly become more of a friend to me than i could have ever hoped for. i consider you one of my very best friends and in saying that, i care about you and your happiness more than my own a lot of the time. if i could make life just the tiniest bit less hectic and stressful for you i would--and i SO wish that i could. you seriously are the epitome of SUNSHINE and it saddens me to see you on a cloudy day.
i know that you have a million things running through your mind/life right now, but i know that you will be fine. you will be more than fine--you will be great. soon you'll be graduated and it will be summer. then you'll be off to florida where you will meet so many new people (which you are so good at) and it will be a relatively fresh start.
i admire you more than most people i know. you are one of the strongest, most inspiring people i have known. i feel so connected to you and i believe it's because we have so much in common. even the way events have shaped us are very similar. you have endured so much and i watch you take it like a champ. this just gives me the hope that i can do the same.
i have felt very overwhelmed in the past week-ish. for many reasons, but lately i have been in a blank mood. i'm not happy, but im not sad. even my issues that are pretty darn stressful (ex: how i'm paying rent in 2 weeks) are not really freaking me out. i've just started feeling (or not feeling, i guess) this way monday, and my only idea is the weather. monday and tuesday in chicago were gorgeous--i mean, gorgeous. i'm beginning to think i have seasonal depression. perhaps not that severe, but i definitely see an improvement in my mood when the weather is nicer. which is one reason WHY i am not staying in chicago after this year is up. i need something warmer and new. and with new, i know i'll at least start out happy because i love being somewhere new.
i, too, olivia, don't always like talking to my friends about whats bothering me, but for another reason. i also feel like my problems are just that, my problems. it's hard enough for me to handle, so why should i put that on my friends? they have enough on their plates as it is; they don't need to worry about me too. and simply, i feel like i should fix my problems myself and if i'm whining to my friends, that is not helping anything--so why do it at all? i always tell myself i'll keep everything to myself, but it never happens. i'm a sucker for sympathy, i'll admit it. i'm ashamed of it, but it's true.
ugh...i need to force myself to sleep. classes are almost out for springbreak, just 3 more...
i'll blog more tomorrow. i have much, much more to say...
here's the link to Olivia's blog, enjoy: http://ohlivianne.blogspot.com/
pusshej,
jules
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Peanut Butter Induced Epiphany
SO...this may not be true for everyone, but i've seriously just realized something very cool/sad/complex about myself.
when you first meet a boy, and he becomes a "potential" do you get that insane middle school feeling?
well, i do, and i call these "girly crushes" because it makes me feel like i'm in the 5th grade again and every little thing that he does or says MEANS something lol (obviously it doesnt...)
in general--girly crushes are exciting. you're constantly giddy, and, as my room mates and i refer to it, bejigiddy.
i may be alone in saying this, but i adore this phase.
of course, in my experience, girly crushes last anywhere from 3 days to a month--no longer (that is normally a relationship or the start of one), and MOST girly crushes don't go anywhere after that. they end and that is the end of that--which is fine! i'll already be on to the next soon enough!
BUT, here's the rub:
i've realized, that, for ME, the reason i like the girly crush phase is because i don't do well in actual relationships. i get fidgety and anxious when in one, and, therefore, stay away from them completely. so, since i know i won't have a lasting relationship i invest all of myself into my girly crushes...i OVER-appreciate what i have; and what i have is a knack for nothing other than girly crushes.
now, i find this kind of cool, in the sense that i suddenly understand WHY i get soooooooo excited about girly crushes. it's the only thing i have to look forward to in the boy department.
however, it is also a tad sad, because it seems my subconscious is looking out for me; protecting me from the things i am worst at, and, in a way, afraid of--relationships.
so, for all of my girlfriends who have had to endure my many girly crushes, and my incredibly annoying state, i sincerely apologize. it is not entirely my fault...i have little to no control over this mind of mine. i would like to say that now figuring this out it will all be better, but i'm sure there will be MANY more girly crushes that you will have to bare with me through! (*hopefully the current does not read this...)
pusshej,
jules
when you first meet a boy, and he becomes a "potential" do you get that insane middle school feeling?
well, i do, and i call these "girly crushes" because it makes me feel like i'm in the 5th grade again and every little thing that he does or says MEANS something lol (obviously it doesnt...)
in general--girly crushes are exciting. you're constantly giddy, and, as my room mates and i refer to it, bejigiddy.
i may be alone in saying this, but i adore this phase.
of course, in my experience, girly crushes last anywhere from 3 days to a month--no longer (that is normally a relationship or the start of one), and MOST girly crushes don't go anywhere after that. they end and that is the end of that--which is fine! i'll already be on to the next soon enough!
BUT, here's the rub:
i've realized, that, for ME, the reason i like the girly crush phase is because i don't do well in actual relationships. i get fidgety and anxious when in one, and, therefore, stay away from them completely. so, since i know i won't have a lasting relationship i invest all of myself into my girly crushes...i OVER-appreciate what i have; and what i have is a knack for nothing other than girly crushes.
now, i find this kind of cool, in the sense that i suddenly understand WHY i get soooooooo excited about girly crushes. it's the only thing i have to look forward to in the boy department.
however, it is also a tad sad, because it seems my subconscious is looking out for me; protecting me from the things i am worst at, and, in a way, afraid of--relationships.
so, for all of my girlfriends who have had to endure my many girly crushes, and my incredibly annoying state, i sincerely apologize. it is not entirely my fault...i have little to no control over this mind of mine. i would like to say that now figuring this out it will all be better, but i'm sure there will be MANY more girly crushes that you will have to bare with me through! (*hopefully the current does not read this...)
pusshej,
jules
Monday, March 9, 2009
Ridiculous
i won't name names, but in response to the Rihanna/Chris Brown incident (her being beaten by him) someone i was with responded:
"she deserved it; i hate her..."
i couldn't even believe it. i just asked her what she had just said because i wasn't sure if i'd heard right...
and then i left the room.
really, really?
people make me sad.
pusshej,
jules
"she deserved it; i hate her..."
i couldn't even believe it. i just asked her what she had just said because i wasn't sure if i'd heard right...
and then i left the room.
really, really?
people make me sad.
pusshej,
jules
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Daylight Savings or Expenses?
note: the use of quotation marks around the word love are not to say that these people don't love each other, but just because i, personally, don't believe in love and feel hypocritical using the word without them [quotation marks].
riddle me this: if person A and person B "love" each other, then why do they have countless fights?
answer: inequalities.
i'm very tired of people, specifically one of my best friends of 6 years now, being treated like shit all in the name of "love."
my friends mean the world to me, and to hear them upset and compromising themselves for the actions of other people just kills me. i can honestly say that i have never been more PROUD of my friend for being such an independent and puissant woman. she has always amazed me but even more so now that i have realized what kind of woman she is. she does not sit back and let things happen; she makes her presence known and jumps head first into the deep end of all of life's problems. this is why it pains me to see the one she "loves" (and who "loves" her in return) take advantage of her one weakness--their relationship.
i loathe that "love" is a bartering chip and we are made to feel unworthy of a stable, carefree relationship.
i have known this couple since the very beginning and am very confident in their feelings for one another, however, it is just unacceptable to me that a constant power struggle is what is keeping these two from consistent happiness. i'm not saying that all of their problems would go away completely, but a fair share would for sure.
because of my friend's complete NON-doormat personality, her boyfriend gets shit from his friends. the guy who, "can't control his gf" or is "whipped" (these are not direct quotes, merely examples to explain the situation). this type of ridicule and criticism have led to what can only be described as a power struggle; a dominance issue.
it pains me to see the gender inequalities that many people choose to ignore. even in this simple situation, it is, in my eyes, an issue of male dominance.
i am happy to say--my friend is one female that will not be subordinate. ever. and forever will she have my respect and admiration.
pusshej,
jules
riddle me this: if person A and person B "love" each other, then why do they have countless fights?
answer: inequalities.
i'm very tired of people, specifically one of my best friends of 6 years now, being treated like shit all in the name of "love."
my friends mean the world to me, and to hear them upset and compromising themselves for the actions of other people just kills me. i can honestly say that i have never been more PROUD of my friend for being such an independent and puissant woman. she has always amazed me but even more so now that i have realized what kind of woman she is. she does not sit back and let things happen; she makes her presence known and jumps head first into the deep end of all of life's problems. this is why it pains me to see the one she "loves" (and who "loves" her in return) take advantage of her one weakness--their relationship.
i loathe that "love" is a bartering chip and we are made to feel unworthy of a stable, carefree relationship.
i have known this couple since the very beginning and am very confident in their feelings for one another, however, it is just unacceptable to me that a constant power struggle is what is keeping these two from consistent happiness. i'm not saying that all of their problems would go away completely, but a fair share would for sure.
because of my friend's complete NON-doormat personality, her boyfriend gets shit from his friends. the guy who, "can't control his gf" or is "whipped" (these are not direct quotes, merely examples to explain the situation). this type of ridicule and criticism have led to what can only be described as a power struggle; a dominance issue.
it pains me to see the gender inequalities that many people choose to ignore. even in this simple situation, it is, in my eyes, an issue of male dominance.
i am happy to say--my friend is one female that will not be subordinate. ever. and forever will she have my respect and admiration.
pusshej,
jules
Friday, March 6, 2009
Why Aren't We Angry!?
so i just saw "A Powerful Noise" and all i can say is: if and when it comes out to buy/rent, you MUST watch it. the movie is so incredibly awesome. i left the theater feeling empowered and just inspired. it's the most amazing thing to me, that a movie can make such an impact on someone--and this one for sure did.
i've been out of the country twice; once to england and once to sweden. ever since that first trip--that first taste of another culture--i have wanted to leave again. all this year i have been itching to get out, travel, help people, and DO something important. i'm not huge and muscle-y, but i'm able bodied and why not?! why not do something WORTH WHILE? there are so many more important things that i could be doing with my time and its frustrating because it all requires money--which i don't have. it's frustrating because i have nevvvver been so passionate about something. the only bright side: for once i know EXACTLY what my calling is.
so, since my little rant got off topic, i want to go back to my response to "A Powerful Noise." after some serious thought i've started to get a little upset. not just for the topics in the movie but for the response we give it.
-in Africa, 85% of child domestic workers are girls
-785 million illiterate adults in the world; 2/3 are women
-of the worlds 1billion poorest people, 60% are women and girls
-women work 2/3 of the world’s working hours, but earn only 10% of the income
-women produce half the world’s food, yet own only 1 percent of its land
WHY AREN'T WE FURIOUS? this should enrage people! what the fuck is wrong with us to just keep this in the dark and pretend like it's not happening. newsflash: just because we don't acknowledge it, doesn't mean it's not there. it's very serious and very real and yet a very small percentage of this country is as concerned and outraged as they should be.
please, next time you're complaining about homework or just about going to class in general, think about the kids all around the world that don't necessarily have the opportunity or means to go.
educate yourself. find out what's going on in the world. not everything that is of importance happens within the US. don't be ignorant. appreciate the privileges you have.
get informed. get angry. spread the word and DO something.
pusshej,
jules
i've been out of the country twice; once to england and once to sweden. ever since that first trip--that first taste of another culture--i have wanted to leave again. all this year i have been itching to get out, travel, help people, and DO something important. i'm not huge and muscle-y, but i'm able bodied and why not?! why not do something WORTH WHILE? there are so many more important things that i could be doing with my time and its frustrating because it all requires money--which i don't have. it's frustrating because i have nevvvver been so passionate about something. the only bright side: for once i know EXACTLY what my calling is.
so, since my little rant got off topic, i want to go back to my response to "A Powerful Noise." after some serious thought i've started to get a little upset. not just for the topics in the movie but for the response we give it.
-in Africa, 85% of child domestic workers are girls
-785 million illiterate adults in the world; 2/3 are women
-of the worlds 1billion poorest people, 60% are women and girls
-women work 2/3 of the world’s working hours, but earn only 10% of the income
-women produce half the world’s food, yet own only 1 percent of its land
WHY AREN'T WE FURIOUS? this should enrage people! what the fuck is wrong with us to just keep this in the dark and pretend like it's not happening. newsflash: just because we don't acknowledge it, doesn't mean it's not there. it's very serious and very real and yet a very small percentage of this country is as concerned and outraged as they should be.
please, next time you're complaining about homework or just about going to class in general, think about the kids all around the world that don't necessarily have the opportunity or means to go.
educate yourself. find out what's going on in the world. not everything that is of importance happens within the US. don't be ignorant. appreciate the privileges you have.
get informed. get angry. spread the word and DO something.
pusshej,
jules
Thursday, March 5, 2009
Trials and Tribulations of the Modern-Day Mind
in life we are always after something. whether it be a grade, a gf/bf, a car, or something as simple as just being noticed, it always seem out of reach. it may not even be very far out of reach but just enough to drive you mad. it becomes not just something we want, but a simple trick of the brain and you feel like you need it, you can't live without it, and you'd do almost anything for it.
pusshej,
jules
i've come to the conclusion that either the human mind is too wise and mysterious for us to comprehend, or we spend so much time thinking and pretending to be wise that we actually complicate the matter itself.
with all of the confusion, doubt, aniexty, stress, whatever it may be for you, it all seems worth it ...if we get what we want in the end. i don't know how or why, but even if we don't get what we want we somehow convince ourselves that it was a "learning experience" or "i'm better off without it." it's pure bullshit. we decide we want one thing and then if, by change, we dont get it, we change our minds, all of a sudden see the error of our ways, and act as if we were Confucius and say we've learned from it. i'm sorry but not getting a car for you birthday is not a lesson learned well, but more likely an overly privileged child who thinks they deserve everything they "need."
wherever our wise-yet-golly, rational-yet-irrational, intelligent-yet-naive minds take us, we are always following something. a never ending chase, trying to catch something that we think will make us feel better; that WANT that is now a NEED.
pusshej,
jules
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