Vienna waits

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me why
Are you still so afraid?
Where's the fire, what's the hurry about?
You better cool it off before you burn it out
You got so much to do and only
So many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want
Or you can just get old
You're gonna kick off before you even get halfway through
When will you realize...Vienna waits for you

Song: Vienna by Billy Joel

below is a link to the song. the background has nothing to do with it, i just figured it's better than watching lyrics scroll up.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbSg4yVLd_I&feature=related

this is one of my all-time favorite songs. it also happens to be a song i feel like i can relate to fairly often. this may not hold true for everyone, but this song calms me down. it's soothing, and i sometimes listen to it on repeat for god knows how long.

currently, i have it on repeat.

it is the beginning of the semester and i feel like i have jumped into the deep end of the pool that is education (and i'm not much of a swimmer).

for those of you who don't know...i am a women studies major. i had planned to add english as my 2nd major in order to teach at a high school level after graduation, however something changed last week.

when i received the news friday that i would NOT be acquiring extra financial aid this semester i was a wreck.
i was told that i would be receiving a little over $2,000 for which i planned to pay sorority dues, pay off my credit card (from books), and pay my roommate back.

however, i have found that this email was a mistake. in fact, i owe UT $100 still.

in my attempt to NOT break down in tears while crossing campus i headed towards the theater for a informational meeting about the happenings of this semester.

i could tell right away that i was the only non-theater major in attendance, but it did not bother me. i felt comfortable and at ease. these have always been my kind of people.

by the end of the meeting i spoke with a faculty member about the possibility of minoring or majoring in theater.

what i noticed, was that my mood changed instantly once i entered that theater. and my mood changed instantly when i considered adding theater to my education. i had not entirely forgotten my money woes, however, for the time being, i felt content.

i have since decided (with the help and encouragement of my mom, brother, and best friends) that theater will be my 2nd major, not english.

i have a full 18-hour schedule this semester (including intro to theater) and could not be happier...well, about school.

as for money, that's a different story.

i am hoping to get a job at my apartment complex which would provide me with free rent (and would be a huge life saver). i should find out by the end of the month, so keep your fingers crossed.

all in all, i am trying to cut out as much of the unnecessary costs in my life as possible.

which means Kappa.

i have come to terms with the fact that i have to drop Kappa. i am behind on dues as it is and i see no light at the end of my money tunnel. i will miss most things about Kappa, however, at the same time, i will have more time for the job (possibly making me more eligible) and for my 2nd major.

i know that the handful of girls i have gotten close with in kappa will still be around, so, i think i will be alright.
it just always seems that i am making decisions based on what i SHOULD do, and not what i WANT to do.
i am ruled by practicality.
however, i think this is why i am so excited about theater. it is not practical at all. i have no clue what i'll do with women's studies and theater, but i'm equally passionate about both areas, and for once i am doing what i WANT, and it feels great (combined with paralyzing fear of what i'll do upon graduating...).

so for those of you who make the logical decisions every day of their life like me, please--do yourself a favor, try doing what you want for once. it's terrifying but so worth it. now i'm not saying base every decision off of want! that'd be crazy!!! lol

just test the waters.

pusshej,
in limbo jules