Exhausted

this song is my mind/life right now.
Her Morning Elegance by Oren Lavie
it's a great song and it's also one of my favorites.
enjoy.
bedtime.

pusshej,
jules

666

today was the day from helllllllll

everything is going wrong and proving more difficult than i could have ever imagined.
i'm rushing a sorority this fall...so i had to provide previous attended college transcripts...
i went through hell trying to get my AI transcript to the recruitment people on time and i thought that the worst was over.
turns out i was sooooo wrong.

i should've known today would be crappy.

the first thing that happens is encountering 2 protesters outside of the reproductive health clinic down the street from me. they were reading from the bible and talking at me as i walked by about how bad abortion is. it really makes me sad that people fear what they don't know--and that their solution is to eliminate or "fix" the "problem". there is so much confusion when it comes to the never-ending debate over reproductive rights. i get so frustrated because it's about women's freedoms and rights. just because i'm pro-choice, doesn't mean i'm ANTI-life. people aren't even arguing about the same thing. i don't think that everyone should just run out and have abortions left and right, but i think that we as a country should put a little more faith in women and trust them to make their own decisions.

soorrrrry, done ranting about that...

i went to student services to find out how much i needed to make my loan for after my pell grant and unsubsidized and subsidized loans. well before i left i wanted to double check that i was in the system for late orientation because it's the 17th and i havent gotten any emails or anything about where i should go and at what time.
so the woman was like you have to go to blah dee blah room. so i did. and they said that i hadnt registered. since when do you register for orientation?! and why didn't they tell me that a month ago when i was here and found out that i missed my original orientation?!
well anyway, the only reason i even have to go to orientation is to meet with an advisor so that i can register for classes (which already was going to suck seeing as i'd meet w/ one 2 days before school started). BUT, according to the cute boy behind the desk, my dept's advisors are busy until AFTER school starts...seriously, seriously? so he said to register online...i went home and registered. it cost me $40. i still dont know if i have an appt w/ an advisor...so i may have just paid $40 for nothing.

also, my loans aren't covering my rent this year, so i need to find a job ASAP. i have a little saved up, but i don't want to deplete my funds before securing a job. i applied at buffalo wild wings and chili's thinking bar/restaurants bring in good crowds during football season. buffalo wild wings didn't seem promising because they had just hired people about 2 weeks ago, but that they said they'd call if someone didn't work out...yea right.

then chili's seemed promising. they said they were hiring when i asked and the girl who had me fill out an application yesterday said to come back today and talk with someone. well i did and turns out that girl didn't have the authority to say that and they are all hired except possibly daytime shifts...which is when i'll be in class.

sooooo now, i don't know where i'm working, much less where to APPLY; i don't know if i'll be able to register for classes--or even start classes when i'm supposed to; and i don't know what the hell im doing with all this sorority stuff. i feel a little out of my league.

my day wasn't over though. i decided to treat myself to takeout. chinese food just puts me in a good mood...well when i came back, my swipe key for my apartment wasn't working, and the office was already closed. so thankfully my roommate hadn't gotten to far yet and came on back to let me in.

soooo all in all, i have accomplished very little. instead, in the past 2 days i have watched the first 2 seasons of Weeds--which i recommend to all--it's wonderful.

tomorrow: i get my loan figured out (knock on wood), start job hunt part deaux, and have my recruitment welcome meeting...

wish me luck...

pusshej,
jules

The Grocery List That Is My Life

sooooooo to anyone who actually reads my blog: sorry i've been MIA for the past 2 months almost.

things:

--i just saw The Avett Brothers in concert thursday night. they were INCREDIBLE! please go see them if you ever get the chance. i know that they will be in chicago at the house of blues on june 28th (aka tomorrow, but technically today)

ps- their opening band--Samantha Crane & The Midnight Shivers--were verrrry good as well.

--nannying is pretty much the only thing i'm doing with my summer...

--if you're a soccer person you should know this, but if not, the US team actually made it to the final four in the world cup. they beat Spain, which is incredible...spain has not lost one single game since 2006...and normally our country's team sucks majorly. but now we're in the final 2 (since we beat spain) and we will be playing against Brazil tomorrow (but technically today). they will undoubtedly kick our ass, but it's extremely cool that we made it to the finals in general. so if you get a chance, watch the game!

--i've been saving up all summer to buy a car (my first) because i need one when i move to tennessee. fingers crossed i get the '95 red explorer that my cousin is selling. my mom wants something "safe" and it needs to be able to transport tons of my crap to my new home :)

--one of my bestest friends in the entire world is coming (from sweden, where she lives) to the US for 3 weeks in july and i could not be happier. i haven't seen her in a year; since last summer when i went to sweden to visit her :)

--also, my brother zach, who lives in california is coming to visit for a few days in july. i'm super stoked because i haven't seen him in forever, and i sorta, kinda, just a little bit, miss him...lol

--i shall be traveling to tennessee to find an apartment july 9th and 10th, then i shall be in chicago the 11th and 12th. soooo chi-town people: i better see some of you!!!

--for any of you Guster fans (like me!!!) pleassssssse take advantage of the free concert they are putting on in grant park on july 4th! i dont think i'll be able to make it, and since they are one of my all time fave bands, i recommend them to allll.

--movies i recommend:
>Little Ashes: "in the midst of the repression and political unrest of pre-Spanish Civil War, eccentric artist Salvador Dali and renowned poet and revolutionary Federico Garcia Lorca find their artistic and sexual freedom. the two form a bond challenged by their fierce ambitions, their friends, the struggle between a love for Spain and a love for each other."

my comments: VERY good. it's artsty, so if that isn't your cup of tea, you won't care for it. robert pattinson does an amazing job playing Dali.

>Away We Go: "about an unmarried couple in their thirties, who are expecting their first child. they move so they can be close to his parents (hers passed away). they find out that his parents are leaving the country for two years and wont be there for the birth. so they decide to travel around the U.S. and Canada to find the perfect place to call home and bring up their child. along the way, they are also looking for the perfect family as a role model for them to follow in raising their daughter. as with all new families, they discover their own way."

my comments: slightly awkward opening scene to view with your father next to you...lol this is a very funny, sweet, heart-warming movie. sad, but meaningful, it is well worth shellin' out the cash. featuring john krasinski from "The Office", Maya Rudolph, and Allison Janney.

--things i want to see:
>Paper Heart: documentary about how Charlyne Yi doesn't believe in love. her real-life boyfriend (Michael Cera) is in it as well.
>Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
>Julie and Julia: based on 2 true stories. about julia child and how she influences this woman julie. featuring the wonderful Meryl Streep and the adorable Amy Adams

--last but not least, my birthday is monday.

pusshej,
jules

246

246, that is the number of children who now have food to eat for a year.

today i volunteered for an organization called Feed My Starving Children.

we packaged a rice/stew mix that has been scientifically created to help those suffering from malnutrition and starvation. it's 100% vegetarian and not too bad (we got to try it).

i worked for 2 hours and in those 2 hours my table alone packed 21 boxes of food. that is 756 bags of food total. each bag is enough to feed a family of 6.

now that is just what my tiny group of 10 accomplished. overall, in that 2 hour block, a total of 280 people volunteered and helped package food. all in all, we packaged over 80,000 bags of food. that is enough to feed 246 children for a year.

incredible.

also, this organization has been pairing with Willow Creek Community Church (where i volunteered) for the past 4 weeks. this is the final week for packaging food. as of now they have packaged 4.2 MILLION bags of food.

i only wish i could hand deliver it all to those kids in Zimbabwe.

if you're interested in volunteering for FMSC at any time here is their site: http://www.fmsc.org/Page.aspx?pid=361

i haven't felt this good in a while. i recommend it to all. :)

pusshej,
jules

Mirrors Pretend

so. even sitting here at my desk i'm not sure what this blog is going to be about. lately i have just realized my extreme dissatisfaction for my current life. i'm not saying that in an i-hate-the-world type of way. not in the least. i just feel like there is so much more i expect and want to do/accomplish in life. in the most cliche way possible, i feel like i'm living two different lives. one (the more dominant) feels very chained down and stuck. the other wants to be life changing but at the same time glamorous.

she's a model; a fashionista; a feminist; a wild child; securely employed; a gypsy.

currently, i am not a model, i am short; i am taping the mouth of that inner fashionista because i don't have an expendable income; i am an unsatisfied feminist longing for her old role model; i have no where to be wild--stuck in this concrete and dry wall loft; i am dogsitting 5 times a week for cash; i am stuck.

this is me venting...obviously. for instance, when i finally have a little spare cash and buy something in the realm of my ideal fashion, i get comments like "what's the occasion!?" or "you look nice today!"
all of these i appreciate of course, because they are compliments. however, i get frustrated because if i could afford to buy the things that i like it would not seem like i'm "dressing up"--it would just be my style; it would just be ME.

in saying this, i'm not sure what to do. it's as if i feel like i'm being fake, but i'm not. so how do you correct that type of feeling?

i shall go to bed with this cumbersome thought i guess.

pusshej,
an unwilling and confused jules :/

Monstrous May with Jules and Olivia

SO me and one of my bestest friends in the whole entire world (olivia) are spending a lot of much need time together in the month of May. since she lives in St. Louis still (currently) and i'm in Chi...seeing each other isn't always the easiest thing :/

here is the game plan:

weekend of May 1st--i'm going back to the Lou for prom where i will see my lovely all weekend!
weekend of May 8th--miss olivia is coming to Chi for the weekend!
weekend of May 15th--i come home to STL, we attend the A-Men Extravaganza (an a cappella concert), then leave the following day for our much anticipated roadtrip to Tennessee!
weekend of May 22nd--attend the graduation of miss olivia (and others lol)
weekend of May 29th--perhaps the dessert date we've been postponing for months?

all in all, i miss my lovely olivia, and i can't wait to see her!

pusshej,
jules

Stop and Smell the City...

hey all--i have SOOOO much to do this weekend/month/last-bit-of-school...
i would much rather be out smelling the roses...or in my case, smelling the city? which, is actually not bad; it's rather nice.

this is just an idea of my saturday:
-get up at 6am
-leave the apt no late than 7am
-run in the Wrigley Start Early 5k to prevent child abuse at 8am
-go home/shower/get cleaned up
-meet Kelley in Wrigleyville at Pick Me Up (yum yum yum!) for lunch at 11am
-go walk the dogs that I am sitting and play with them from 2-3pm
-meet up w/ Stevie downtown
-take Stevie to Wicker Park, maybe Belmont, then back to my apt

baaaahhhhh and somehow fit in all of my hw that i need to finish.

fml.

good news is: i opened a savings account at fifth/thirds bank yesterday and bought new shoes today at Akira for $30! woot woot!

to do:
-get recommendation letter from teacher back home to send to UTK
-send outline for powerpoint to group member...
-create rough draft of the event invitation for group project (and eventually the final draft)
-write rough draft of my integrated marketing final paper (and eventually the final draft)
-write paper for class monday
-sell my books from AI and Columbia

updates:
my detox is going well, although i haven't run for the past 3 days and my 5k is tomorrow morning... :/
also, the blues did not win their first playoff game against the Vancouver Canucks...better luck w/ game 2 tonight at 10pm!

pusshej,
jules

<3 I BLEED BLUE! <3

I'M SOOOOO FUCKING EXCITED!
we may not be the best, but it's been 4 seasons since we even came close to making the playoffs!!!
I am so proud of the Blues!!!

pusshej,
jules (mrs. oshie/mrs. backes)

Take a Second to Care

http://www.dayofsilence.org/

please consider doing this. it's not difficult and it really has a great message. i've done it for the past 4 years but it's been with my high school...i feel a little alone in it now--so join me, won't you?!

pusshej,
jules

Life Detox

hey all

so, whenever i feel especially bogged down or just caught in life's clutter i do some sort of cleansing. normally, i purge my facebook--of friends, tagged photos, and profile shtuff--and that is sufficient. however, lately it just isn't enough. perhaps this is because i've run out of things to get rid of or perhaps this is because i need something a little more meaningful to upgrade.

currently, i am on a health-fix. character-fix. overall being-fix. life-fix.
--i've started running again (since i had shin splints last semester--ow).
--i've been transitioning into becoming a vegetarian.
--my dad (who is a chiropractor) gave me this detox kit, which i started the first of this month, that is supposed to rid your body of all the nasty and make you feel all good inside. :)
--i've started really sitting down and planning out my *immediate* future. goals, wants, necessities, etc.

to be honest, ever since i was little i thought that i would be a chef and own a restaurant. when it got to be time for my friends to start thinking about what they wanted to major in after high school, i started to second guess myself. however, at the time i just though it was because i had never really thought of what else i might want to do. i was almost afraid to think about what else i might want to do; to change my mind.

i have always been a slave to the stage. i was in musicals, plays, one acts, choir, a cappella, etc. thespians was pretty much my life. it consumed most of my free time. even though i have a love for it, i do not have the confidence of my ability to pursue it as a career. on top of that, i know that i am not as good as the other hundreds of women trying to "make it big"--and i'm okay with that. theater was the only other thing i could think of to study though...so what do i do?

currently i am a marketing communications major with a focus in public relations and a minor in women's studies. marketing is good...it comes naturally to me. creativity, people skills, public speaking skills (from the many years of theater). and women's studies has only become more interesting to me since i took a life-changing course by a wonderful woman at my high school, Ms. Moore. She is the sole reason that i even considered minoring in it.

however, even though marketing isn't bad...it's just not great. i'm not excited for classes. and on top of that, i don't feel challenged at my school. most of my teachers don't even have lesson plans...
i like structure. i like organization. i even like hw to a point. it reminds me that i'm not wasting my time and money (yes, i'm paying for school). but at my school, these things rarely occur.
why should i stay at a school that i don't feel challenges me?

NOW: i have no clue what i'm doing with my life.
all i know is that i'm leaving Chicago. i have my apartment until august and i will be going between St. Louis and Chicago during the summer, but after that i won't be back.
i have applied to Florida Gulf Coast University and University of Tennessee: Knoxville, and will possibly apply to University of South Carolina.

i need new. i need warm weather. i need a school that has a community. i need sports teams to root for, school colors to wear, and pride in my school.
i miss being school spirited like in high school.
i love chicago, but there is no community at Columbia. not the kind that i crave, at least.

perhaps i will continue my major/minor at whatever school i am at in the fall, or perhaps i will go into a full BA in women's studies so that i can possibly teach in the long run. who knows?

all i know, is that i'm getting out.
wish me luck.

pusshej,
jules